The book title for the third book in the John Dies at the End series is really a fitting title for ALL the books in this series, “what the hell did I just read?” This goes the same for the latest installment, There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs. Jason Pargin takes us on another journey with Dave, John, Amy, and more to other mysterious dimensions with possible cataclysmic outcomes in another weird (in a good way) book.
A massive, sticky pile of severed human limbs suddenly appears in the parking lot of a vacant department store in a desolate small town. A set of footprints is found trailing away in the snow, as if a single pair of bare feet had wandered off the pile. If this wasn’t puzzling enough, the cops soon find that no one seems to be missing the limbs. Some of the fingerprints on the severed arms belong to living people with all their appendages intact, others match no one on file, and the rest of the limbs somehow have no prints at all.
This sounds like a case for local weirdos John, David, and Amy, partly because the cops don’t want the headache and partly because David’s own arm is in the pile, despite an identical copy of it still being attached to his body. When a mysterious man then shows up at David’s home claiming to be in pursuit of an entity he calls “the Penetrator,” it seems clear the trio is in for a long weekend.
In addition to stopping whatever this nonsense is, the gang will also have to quell the panicked headlines that threaten to ensue, which could prompt the feds to try to just wipe the whole town off the map (again). As such, the first thing you need to know is that, contrary to whatever ugly rumors you may have heard, there are no giant crabs in this novel.
I first came across Pargin and his unique style of writing with I’m Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom which I thought was weird, out-of-box writing (pun-intended), and fresh as hell. Now after reading the John Dies at the End series, including There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel, Block Box of Doom is actually pretty tame when it comes to Pargin’s writing.
Pargin has this keen ability to craft a story that is darkly humorous, while also raising some serious and poignant questions, all while doing so in the most unique and weird way possible. The book seems like the end of the world, but with some of the humor splattered in makes it feel somehow not that big of a deal…until it is.
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel starts off like a paranormal procedural crime drama, one that happens to have a log of body parts (take that however you want until you read the book) only to progress to the point where you’d never expect them to go. What happens across this book is fast-paced and weird ride that those familiar with the series will understand, but those newcomers are in for a time they will not forget.
Something that makes this wild reads from Pargin even more entertaining is the audiobook narration by Ari Fliakos. The narrator immersed me in this ingenuously bizarre tale with easy. The timing of the jokes landed with more impact as they rolled off the tongue of Fliakos and only elevated the story itself in the end. Physical reading is amazing, but sometimes an audiobook does what it sets out to do.
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs is as bizarre as it sounds, but also timely and incredible. Jason Pargin continues his John Dies at the End series with another weird, wild, and darkly humorous adventure that is for those long time fans and those who have never cracked open one of Pargin’s books. Seriously, what the hell did I just read?
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs hits bookstores everywhere on November 3, 2026 from St. Martin’s Griffin. The audiobook, narrated Fliakos, is available via Libro.fm!
